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Kill your Facebook

December 22nd, 2009

facebook-funnyThis recent NYTimes article on the addictive qualities of Facebook reignited my Facebook animosity evident below.

I turned my account off a year ago and haven’t looked back, though for a while I felt like I may be the only one. I see Facebook as this insidious video game merged with life, hollowing out real life inside this virtual space to keep us tuned to the new media channel. It plays on nostalgia for the past, and the pleasures of juvenile level development, communication, and thinking. TV seem like a benign threat by today’s standards.

A few notes about quiting facebook. You can’t delete your account. You can only “deactivate” it. If you ever, through force of habit or otherwise log into facebook again it is automatically re-activated and the flow of bullshit will begin immediately. Even the process of deactivation is not straight forward, for starters you need to make sure you don’t leave this box checked or else you will still get emails from facebook. While deactivated I received an email warning me that there has been an update to privacy settings in Facebook and that I should check them out. Worried I logged in, and immediately as mentioned above I was re-activated and back on facebook. All the privacy settings they had warned me about were reset to allow people more access to my account which was now live again because well, I had logged in to check this issue out. Ugh. Oh and each time you try and deactivate there will be pictures of your “friends” and it will say…”don’t you want to talk to so and so any more?” oh and you are are required to have a reason to deactivate facebook and then they give a rebuttal to your reason. So for example If you say you spend too much time on facebook then they will offer you tips on how to be more balanced in your life. If there is a way to actually delete your account PLEASE let me know.

Update: the site Seppukoo.com which helped people kill their facebook addiction by deactivating their account via a virtual seppuku has been shut down by Facebook with a cease and desist order.

*UPDATE* SuicideMachine.org is another site that will help you get off Facebook. It will go in and remove your content and change your password to help kill your virtual life so you can start living your actual life. NPR is also running a story on this site here.
**UPDATE** Looks like the Facebook has the attack dogs out on this site as well and are trying to shut it down. The site has two days to decide to fight back or shut down.
This is starting to remind me of Star Trek’s Borg race that all live in a giant cube networked together. They act sorta like hi-tech zombies. They gobble up other races while spewing their catchphrase, “You will be assimilated, resistance is futile.”

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